CNF Online Journal 1: “My Name.”

My name is Caleb, or at least that’s what they named me. I was born into a very religious family, my now passed grandfather was a devoted catholic and my grand mother and the rest of the family are also Christians so it’s no surprise that they would get my name from the bible.

I was never interested in the teachings of the church nor was I ever interested in having a religion. Growing up, the only meaning that I knew that was associated with my name was, bravery. Which was already definitely not one of my perks. I was extremely fearful of dark or dim lighted rooms when i was little, the fear of not knowing what was hiding in the shadows was what scared me the most when I was a child.

For me religion is what most people take into when they have lost their way in their lives and would freely choose to follow someone or something else’s will for themselves . They are afraid to find out for themselves the meaning of their birth in this world. I don’t like rules and I don’t like taking orders, specially from something that I don’t particularly believe in.

Another reason why i don’t like this name is because it was based from someone else’s story and characteristics. I want a name that tells MY story whenever someone hears it. Not someone that was supposedly deeply connected with “God”.

I find it ironic that a person that was given a biblical title is also the person that rejects the beliefs of Christianity and religion itself. I’ve come to hate this name because it always reminds me of my deep connection with the bible and religion.